其实你不懂我的心

你曾试过被人重伤的感觉吗？你是否尝试过那滋味？ 知道后，又怎样？你能和别人分享吗？你可以告诉别人吗？可以告诉谁？有没有人肯听你说？有没有人肯相信你？这种伤心后只能收在心里的感觉，我最清楚。有时真的很想告诉别人，一个人就好了，可是能告诉谁呀？谁愿意听我说？谁又愿意一边听我说，一边看着我哭。要是我真的找到这个人了，我会告诉他事情的发生吗？我真的会吗？我可以跨越那一步，容许我自己把自己最不开心的一面献给他们吗？
回头想想，不高兴时来向我诉说的朋友还满多的。需要安慰、鼓励、方向的朋友，我都会一一的帮助他们。每一次都是真心的希望他们不再执著于某个点，可以看开一些，因为毕竟"是非成败转头空，青山依旧在，几度夕阳红"。人走了以后，什么名和利，开心或不开心，始终都带不走。我是很会和别人说道理，好几个朋友也这么说过，但是却不会自己和自己说。我未曾没有这么试过，但是，当一个人失意的时候，什么好的道理都不会停留在脑袋里，只有负面的思想......

我真的很羡慕那些凡遇到不开心、不如意事时，都可以大声地和别人分享，大声痛苦一场，或是坦然面对，过了一会儿就完全恢复本来的生活。我自认在这方面是完全失败！我太自私了！凡遇到不高兴的事情只会默默地独自承担，收在心里。原因？我是个胆小鬼；我害怕在别人面前真情流露。我是个自私鬼；我不要其他人陪我一起伤心，一起烦。说了出来，他们会怎样看待我？会取笑我吗？会看轻我吗？或许是我想太多吧？我实在没有勇气告诉别人我内心的一些话。

有时候一个人会在查明真相之前就断章取义。这种情形最让我觉得无奈了。事实明明不是这样，但它却成为了事实。还有人家只是一时想不通，就说人无脑、没用脑，那你自己有手有脚，又不去做？！我心里面是这么想，但我可以说出口吗？我可以吗？说了出来事情只会变得更大，对双方都没有帮助，所以宁愿自己一个人委屈，也不愿别人认为我是真的那么想。我只要求和平、平静的生活，就已经足够。

在认识我已久的人的眼里，我是个爱哭鬼，因为他们认为事情明明很小，我却可以哭一餐。但是我想说，每个人的理解力不同，可能意见事对A来说是很小，但对B来说可以很大，因为每个人心想的东西不一样，经历过的东西也不一样。我的心真的太重了。我很想赶紧找到一个知心朋友，开心与不开心的时候都可以和他聊聊。朋友是有了，但是我什么时候才有勇气与它们一起分享呢？

Quick update

Just a quick update to blog about what i want to say recently.

1. A few weeks back, i was chatting with one of my friends, A. And towards the end of our conversation, A suddenly typed "you are amusing", which made me feel shocked. But A was serious about it, so i replied "thank you". Yea, so the point is that, i still remember about it clearly, "you are amusing". And recently, whenever i feel not right, that sentence will pop out on my mind, which makes me feel a little bit better. I would like to thank A for typing that out. Although it might not be true or it might not be relevant now, but at least it was the past. =D Yea, thank you very much!

2. I am pretty upset on another friend, B. Although B is a straight forward and direct person, but i feel that B should not just say anything rude out just like that. Or use harsh words in a conversation. Maybe the other party will forgive B, but it is still not so good to just reply something rude although that is what you think. Probably B should rephrase it in a more polite manner.

3. I went to Caremon Highlands with my parents on last saturday! I felt like vomiting throughout the journey because of the curvy road. And the worse thing is, dad even used the road back to avoid the jam in the new road. SIGH. But it was a great experience though! =D

4. I have to say that "雨爱" by Rainie is a very nice song. My friend, C, has been saying that it is nice long long time ago, but i just feel its normal. Haha. Sorry C. It is really a nice song! =D

Yeap. Basically that's all i want to say. Great day! =D

A friend in need is a friend indeed

There sure are times when we feel down or sad for some kind of reasons or problems unsolved, and we need support and comfort from somebody else that we trust and is close to. They could be our family, friends, teachers, counsellors, etc. However, these people are not always ready to help us as they might have something else to do at that point of time. And there arises the feeling of lonely and helpless, and also the thought of "no one is beside me, i am alone."

Recently, B looked for me due to some of the problems faced by her, and she would like to talk to someone. She messaged me through msn, but i did not reply to her message because i did not notice it as i was playing game. After i saw her message, she has already appear offline. So, i smsed her and asked her about that. She came online and told me about her problems.

Throughout our conversations, she kept on telling me that no one is beside her to comfort her when she's down, no one to support her when she needs it, and no one to share her happiness too. And i replied, "you still have your friends here for you. When you need help, just message me, i will always try my best to help you. The most important thing is, you must say it out so that you can feel better. =)" And she thank me for helping her.

The point of writting this out is to remind ourselves (including me and of course the readers) to try our best to help our friends and family whenever they need help. I mean, if they have made an effort to call or message you and tell you about their problems, they must have been seeing you as someone trustworthy and is comfortable sharing it with you. Try not to ignore them or say something like "i dont know" "sorry, i cant help you", this in turns makes them feel more helpless. Friendship wont last long like this. In fact, we will also go through depression and need help from someone else, isn't it?

Remember, do good and we will feel good. It is actually happy to help someone. It is not the kind of happiness we feel when we are rewarded or when we have succeeded, it's the kind of happiness deep inside our heart. It could not be described using any words. So, do not only mind our own business, but sometimes, care for others who needs help. You will feel more satisfied and happy that way.

If u were 2 dedicate a song 2 ur mum, wat wld it b?

Last time, i jz couldn't understand y mum gets so angry easily with dad when he was on d phone. I tot it was jz a small matter talking on d phone with his colleagues or frens. She used 2 talk on d phone with her frens 2 though. Y did she wanna m8 small thgs big, which spoils our holiday mood? But now, i hv finally felt how she used 2 feel...

He could talk on d phone with his colleagues, payin full attention 2 thm, but only 50% of attention 2 us bcoz his hp rings on every 1 hr. He could talk on d phone with his frens with joy n laughters, but did i c him jokin with us oftenly? He could talk on d phone 2 teach his staff problems solving skills, but can he solve problems which r happening 2 us now? Or does he m8 thgs worse?

It has been years tat v did not hv a proper family life 2gether, n she has successfully given me one. Can't u jz cooperate n b part of us? A long holiday tat she has planned a month ago wasn't tat joyful bcoz of u, who needs 2 cancel ur lift last minute-ly 4 work. Wat a gr8 dissapointment! Well, can't blame on u though coz it was an instruction fr ur boss. A short holiday planned wasn't tat fun 2 bcoz of u, who keeps on picking up phone calls fr ur staff n colleagues. N not even a one-day shopping! U were busy picking up phones, one after another. R u a workaholic nw? Y don u jz marry ur boss.

4 now, i jz wanna say tat, a holiday w/o u is fine 4 me. There is no difference whether ur around or not.

Mum, not until i saw it ytd nite hv i understand ur feelings when u heard d ringtone of his hp. It is annoying n frustrating. I kno it wasn't easy 2 live with him with his hp ringing every hr, every where. 4 tis, i wld like 2 dedicate a song 4 u, 爱上你等于爱上寂寞 ~ 那英. But i would like 2 say, 寂寞的路上，依然会有我的陪伴。I luv u mum.

2012

Hv been hearing a lot about the movie, 2012, since WACE exam, but i was on a vacation with mummy. So, i din get 2 watch it until i was back.

2day is certainly a tiring day. Slept at 1am, woke up at 7.30am for paintball with my cellege frens. Paintball was fun but i causes body ache. LOL. Later, thy came 2 my house 4 a quick shower n headed 2 pyramid 4 lunch. Mum sugested 2 watch 2012 after tis, so i bought 2 tickets 4 2012 at 5.15pm. At 1st, i tot it would b boring n i would fall asleep since i was already so exausted. However, it was not. The theme n story line were great n it's an inspiring movie.

2012 is a movie about the world, which is constantly being threatened by various problems such as greenhouse effect n d rising of temp. It is a movie filmed according 2 a prophecy by the ancient Mayan calender, which states that d world will com 2 an end on 21st december 2012. All of these problems r caused by us, human beings, who r being 2 aggresive n stingy at d same time. By d movie 2012, v'll kno v r warned....

In d movie, there was a scene of 2 monks enjoying their cups of tea on top of d mountain. Monk A asked Monk B a ques ( which i've 4gotten wat has he asked =P ). And thn Monk B poured d tea in2 a cup until it leaks out, n said, "if v wish 2 acquire new knowledge, v must 1st empty our minds." Tis scene is so rememberable 2 me bcoz d sentence is really true. In life, when v wish 2 hv a lot of thgs at d same time, v may not get all of thm as our ability is limited. But, if v were 2 get thm 1 by 1, step by step, v wil b able 2 gain more. It teaches us not 2 b greedy.

Tis movie has also done a great job in showing d importance of family n frenship. 2 me, these r d 2 most important thgs in life. When, v r successful with pride, money n accomplishments, v won't b happy without our family n frens beside us. I was actually touched by d scene tat d father, who has called his son 2 say "i luv u" b4 d tsunami strikes n d ship sinks. N also d last part, where d son has helped his father 2 fix d problems of d hydrolic jet. D son returned but d father has not. But finally, d father swam out fr d water n thy hugged 2gether with tears. Tears roll out of my eyes n along my face.....

Overally, 2012 was a great n meaningful movie. Whether or not d prediction is ture, v should nw learn 2 b thankful 2 wat v hv n appreciate thm greatfully so tat there wil b no regrets even when d world has com 2 an end. Live life 2 d fullest n b appreciative 2 wat God has given us, whether thy r gd or bad, happy or sad, success or failure. Thy r all expensiv expereinces. Appreciation is a wonderful thg. It makes wat is excellent in others belong 2 us as well. =)

期待

Every time I hear d sound of d gate opening, I wil go near d window n peak at d gate, hopin it’ll b 1 of my parents comin b8. But, most of d time, it juz disappoint me. =( My heart wil b goin like “pls, pls, a BMW pls…” or now in kl, there’s 1 more door inside, so I’ll b hopin 2 c d door opening. But, most of d time, it juz disappoint me. =(


The feelin of a girl bein d oni child. Alone. At home. It couldn’t b described usin any simple words until u experience it by urself. Yea, mayb there r som advantages of bein d oni child, as parents wil pay more attention 2 their oni child … … But sometimes, thy’ll feel lonely as well, especially at times where thy’re alone at hom.


Durin primary sch, most of d parents wil com 2 visit their children with food durin recess time. N tat was 1 of my dreams at tat time. I oso wan homemade food in a lunchbox. It may not nd 2 hv “big fish big meat”, oni 2 simple dishes is enough. I juz wanna experience tat feeling… I thk it’ll b .

I don mean 2 expect thm 2 do everythg of wat their parents did. But I juz wan 2 try tat 1ce in a while. I juz wan 2 say tat tis is wat I’ve been wantin since young. Tis is wat I’ve been waitin 4 when I’m hom. Happily, I’ve experienced it tis yr! 4 1ce, mum let me brg fried rice 2 sch, in a lunch box with 3 partings. 4 1ce, mum wil b at hom, waitin 4 me with dinner. Tat’s was wat I wished durin d days actually. I kno she nd 2 work hard 2 sustain our life n its more difficult thn stayin at hom, cookin, sweepin… … N I’m not expectin tat everyday bcoz I kno she prefer workin out.

4 wat I’ve said, I wan 2 thank mum & dad, especially mum (ok, I m not tryin 2 b bias here). Raising up a child w/o a “him” is definitely not easy. N I kno u’ve been hopin 4 a life with 3 of us 2gether as a family. N now, v’re hvin it. I thk if it wasn’t u who has worked hard 4 it, v wouldn’t b hvin it now. I m proud of ur achievement. So, I would like 2 thank u 4 doin ur best 4 me n oso ur hard work 2 brg 3 of us 2gether under d same roof. I m very happy 2 hv our family back 2gether again. I’m sure e’re feelin tired bout it. I promise I wil play my part well n let u b proud of me 1 day in future! Love yah! ^_^

- You are the wind beneath my wings -

Feeling Sorry

Tis evening, as usual, i took d sch bus 2 mydin fr college, but as unusual, i dcided 2 Plan-A back, rather thn taking d public bus, where i hv 2 wait 4 at least another 30mins.
On my journey back, i hv open my mind.

Sometimes, life may b unfair. But tat is juz purely on our own thought. D real situation may not b tat life is unfair. In fact, life is fair all d time.

There is a primary school on my way back, n it was almost time for classes 2 end. Therefore, there r cars n parents outside d sch gate, waiting 4 their beloved children.
And i noticed tat there r quite a numbr of fathers waiting.
I din mean anythg, but my impression 2 a father is tat they should b stil busy working in their respective office, busy in meetings, etc... rather than standing outside d school, fetching their children home.

Tis makes me relate 2 my dad.
I could say tat somtimes he does irritates me as he is juz diff fr me & my mum. He does not kno how 2 act quick in certain situation, n tis makes us feel frustrated about it. He is gud at some times, but he might juz throw his anger out when he is HOT! Bad EQ... He is not innitiative enough, both at home & at work & tis could be linked 2 d term "irresponsible" as well. He seldom has d innitiative 2 start a convo with us, he is juz 2 quiet at times 2 us, but he can talk on d phone & laugh out loud for minutesssssssss.

However, when u come 2 thk of it, who on earth does not hv weaknesses?? Therefore, v shld try 2 c more of d gd side of others 2 cover up their weak side. ^_^
Yea, relating it back 2 my dad.
He is a caring dad, i wld say... He does everythg i asked him 2 do to his best!

There was once where i hv accidently left an important book in d college, n i asked him wat time wil he b back. N he replied "mayb 9pm. anythg?". N so i told him tat i hv left my book in d library n i need it. Tis was wat he replied "So i go back n pick u up, thn after tat i com back 2 work. ok 4 u?" But i din noticed d last part where he said he has 2 go b8 2 work, n i replied "ok". When he called me, only i kno tat he still needs 2 go back 2 work. So i asked him "thn y u com back??" He said "nvm la, u need ur book mah.." I felt so wrong 2 not notice d last part of his msg. N oni thn i knew tat i m so lucky tat i hv such a good & responsible & caring dad. ^^

There was another time where i need 2 stay back at college late, which is until 7pm. So i asked him whether or not he could pick me up bcoz d last bus is 6.30pm, if i m not mistaken. Moreover, it is quite dangerous 2 wait 4 d public bus at mydin after 7pm.. It's dark. N he said he could, n wil arrive at 7.30pm. When v reach d carpark, he turned 2wards d lift, where normally he would park at our parking lot 1st. So i asked him, "where r u goin??" (hoping d ans was leaving me at d lift & he meets me after he has parked his car) But he told me tat he stil needs 2 meet som1 else. N i asked him "y din u tel me?? thn i juz take d bus back mah..." He replied "family is my priority".. Touching rite??

I hv a caring dad. N i thk tat tis is d most important quality of being a gud father.
I feel really sorry about hvin a thought tat u r not a responsible dad b4 tis.
Juz wanna say thank you 4 being my dad & thank you 4 being caring.

N tis is specially for u:

# You are my superhero, right from the beginnning;
You have a place of honour, deep inside my heart. #

新一代贵人

贵人。相信这个词语在每个人心中、脑中，都有一定的意义了吧。
所谓“贵人”，就是指尊贵的人。
他，可以是辅助你的人，也可以是你的恩人，更可以是对你有情有意的人。
举个例子，在唐三藏四师徒取经的路途中，曾经遭遇许多困难，而观音菩萨则时时帮助他们渡过难关。因此，观音菩萨可说是他们的“贵人”啦！

好，话说回来。
在这科技发达的二十一世纪里，难免会看见早出晚归的忙碌人士。
明明有了“家庭事业”，却还得出门赚钱，以供原有的事业。
问世间“钱”为何物？
有人说“有钱能使鬼推磨”。有人说“钱是万能”。
想必大家有钱，就一定快乐；没钱的人，就不一定快乐。
所谓家庭事业的目的，就是为了满足“小顾客”（孩子）。
忙碌的父母为了补足自己的不足之处，常常用“钱”满足小顾客们。
试问我们穿的、吃的、喝的、用的、戴的、拿的、看的... ...有哪一样不用钱呢？
我只能说小顾客们的威力，是无法挡的呀！
因为我能在他们身上看到“钱”茫啊！
试想想，我们平均花在身上的钱，竟然以达到千位数了耶！
从头，脸，上身，下身，手，脚，有哪个部位是不是用钱来贴的呢？
身体贴着数千块，脚上贴着数百块，头上戴着数百块，脸上又涂着数千块... ...
真是名副其实的“贵人”（很贵的人）。

献给你的

有的时候 现实就是如此残酷
有的时候 事实无法由你掌控
有的时候 虽然你不想这样
但是 你必须懂得容忍、看开、接受它

我 可以劝你的 就只有这些
以后的日子 真的靠你了

记得

你改变不了过去 但 你可以改变现在
你不能控制他人 但 你可以掌握自己
你不能样样顺利 但 你可以事事顺心
你不能左右天气 但 你可以改变心情

与其伤心地度过一生 不如开心地生活
别让上帝看见 他的孩子 在世上痛苦呻吟

抛吧！ 孩子！

Teach me pls...

tat's y i say d horoscope is so true...

天蝎座的人点子多，目标多，时常想一套，又想做另一套，所以很容易犹豫不决！

omg!! even d finger print test oso said so..

持双重标准，会从不同角度思考，有时会犹豫不决！

oommgg!!! even d newspaper said so.. (STAR 24 Jun 09)

it's not like u 2 b uncertain & hesitant, but tis is how u'll b 2day!

i m so stressed bout making decision, i juz can't decide, although d problem seems 2 b so little, much much smaller thn signing an agreement or sthg else! but i juz can't dcide!

i mean, my heart tells me not 2 go bcz i m more happier stayin at home.
but, my head said i shld go, bcoz i wil disappoint others if i do not go!
n now 2 of thm feel really dissapointed, i can feel it!
i promised thm n i now i......
i didn't mean 2 do tat, but i m juz folowing my heart..
i didn't kno thy wil feel disapointed.. :(
so, shld i folow my heart or my head??

i was 2 seek advice fr somof my frens..
but, THEIR LINE WAS UNREACHABLE!!!!!
omg!! is it time 4 me 2 prac 2 dcide thgs myself??
coz since young almost everthg were prepared by others..
i thk GOD says i need 2 prac 2 dcide myself!
but seriously, i really cant't..
n i feel so down, almost to emotional br8 down!

HELP ME PLS...

My Perception on the World

Apparently, some1 send me a world map..
a meaningful world map!
n i was inspired...
a world CAN b som thg like tis:

The world is like our butts!!!
When there r no 'waste products', it is relaxed and smooth..
When d 'waste products' r coming. it starts 2 feel uncomfortable as sthg is goin wrong there..
It starts struggling, fighting and battling.
Doing all sorts of actions in order 2 b free fr d 'waste products'.
N when all 'waste products' r being squized out, it remain relaxed again.
However, if it is in a constipation stage, then everything get even worser!!!

In this era of globalisation, technology is improving n bcoming more advanced.
But, environmental problem has bcame a BIG issue 2 b settled!
Pollution, thining of ozone, global warming, etc......
These problems r all caused by 'waste products' given out by US!!
Most of d ppl smokes, drives, throw rubbish into river, cutting down tress, etc......
All these acts hv caused d earth 2 b in severe constipation stage!!

People! Wake up!
V nd 2 do sthg about it!
Please thk of d consequences on behalf of ur actions!
Thk twice b4 all ur actions!
V must save d world!
Stop d world fr being in severe constipation stage!
Let all d 'waste products' b squized out!
N all of us shall enjoy d swiftness n comfort of staying in this world!

bambi

i m home.
bored...
alone...
misarable...
bad...
isolated...
although i seem 2 b a quiet n isol8ed person at d 1st impression,
but actually i do not like being alone...
but every1 of my frens n family thk of me in tat way...
where i m actually 'cold' in d outside,
but 'hot' in d inside!
it's juz tat i couldn't get used 2 a new situation n mix around v a bunch of frens in a few sec!
i nd time!
i nd time 2 know n choose frens!
i nd time 2 evaluate those person i meet!
i don't mean 2 b quiet or 'rude' som people would say...
coz i rarely talk much 2 a stranger!
but i juz nd time 2 warm up my self in d outside!
can u giv me som time???