After hrs of revision, i decided 2 on my laptop 2 chat with a few frens. Som of thm r oso hvin exam at their respective colleges. Sudenly, i feel d pressure & stress for exam. B4 tis, i was still able 2 cope with it open-heartedly or optimistically, but after listening 2 their "stories", i can oso feel the stress. Studyin at home, ALONE. I don feel supported nor motivated 2 continue studyin anymore. T.T After a few moments, my dad came back with my dinner. He said he's busy n needs 2 go back 2 work. (again) therefore, i feel tat it's my responsibility 2 study hard n score high in mock exam n finally 2 enter a university with scholarship. N not 2 let thm down. D emotions now r juz 2 conflicting!
Later thn, i wanted 2 ask "som1" a ques on psycho, but she din reply my msg. So i'll hv 2 ask another "som1". D another som1 replied me with d ans n said "i tot u r better thn me in psycho, y now ask back me?". Yea, although it seemed 2 b compliment or juz a normal statement, but at tat point of time, i m really depressed 2 get tat reply. It exerted pressure on me. It is telling me tat my psycho knowledge has dropped or i m no longer gd at it. (hvin a negative self concept now.) T.T
"som1" else sms me 2 remind me bout sthg. i told her i feel like cryin. she was tryin 2 cheer me up, but it juz can't help at tat time. another fren of mine oso comforted me... it does help, a little... thx 2 both of thm! haha, its juz 2 hard 2 peel of all d emotions at a time. d walls around my heart is juz getting thicker n thicker. according 2 a psychologist, when v feel hurt, v will try 2 build a wall around our heart 2 protect ourselves. As d wall gets thicker, it wil b more diff 2 b broken down. haiz... i kno i need 2 break d wall faster as it gets thicker. rite... cry out loud, after tis, everythg is alrite! ^_^
No matter what looms ahead, if you can eat today, enjoy today, mix good cheer with friends today and enjoy it. ^_^
No comments:
Post a Comment